I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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