You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
