I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
