Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
