I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
