So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize