he thought i was a dude.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
