if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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