Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize