I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
