so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So much rum. So many feels.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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