Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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