I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize