you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
