Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
