got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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