im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I didn't notice because vodka
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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