we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
