i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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