Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just puked most of my soul out..
the raccoons are back...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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