Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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