hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
