So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
