When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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