My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
