Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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