Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
