:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
whose parrot is this?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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