good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
