I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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