So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
