It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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