That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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