Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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