you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize