I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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