i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize