he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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