Three words: puerto rican gang bang
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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