Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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