I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tornado booty call.. dedication
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
