i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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