Buhtt sex?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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