thus making me awesome and them whores
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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