Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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