so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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