You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
