Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
