I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize