What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
