I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize