the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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