Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
