we're blogging at a bar
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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