I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
