Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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