He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
