I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
