Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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