Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
