Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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