Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize