last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize