I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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