so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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