On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
