The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
