Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
