His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
