woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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