i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's get the cat blown out
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
