Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
