Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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